Read this passage out loud, noting the diction (word choice) and syntax (word arrangements), including the rhythm and length of its sentences. What effect does the passage have on you as you move through it? Is the speaker involved or uninvolved, moved or indifferent? How are horror and grief being handled? Keeping in mind sentence length and structure, diction, tone of voice and attitude of the narrator, write a paragraph assessing the speaker's frame of mind as evidenced through rhetoric.
Look at his bed covering. His leg lies under a wire basket. The bed covering arches over it. I kick Muller on the shin for he is just about to tell Kemmerich what the orderlies told us outside: that Kemmerich has lost his foot. The leg is amputated. He looks ghastly, yellow and wan. In his face there are already the strained lines that we know so well, we have seen them now hundreds of times. They are not so much line as marks. Under the skin the life no longer pulses, it has already pressed out the boundaries of the body. Death is working through from within. It already has command of the eyes. Here lies our comrade, Kemmerich, who a little while ago was roasting horse flesh with us and squatting in the shell holes. He it is still, and yet it is not he any longer. His features have become uncertain and faint, like a photographic plate from which two pictures have been taken.* Even his voice sounds like ashes.
* the features look uncertain like a double-exposed photograph.
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This paragraph is very strong and emotional. The first half of the paragraph uses short, concrete detail, which shows the reader the horror and shock the narrator is feeling. Often when one is upset he/she tends to use short, terse sentences. The narrator's concrete diction and syntax are dramatic to further convey his shock.
There is a shift in the middle of the paragraph during which the narrator goes from being shocked to facing the facts and looking at the bigger picture. The rest of the paragraph becomes full of longer sentences that are more poetic, full of allusions and metaphors, taking on a sort of mournful tone. For instance, in the sentence that talks about Kemmerich lying in bed, it begins with the words, "here lies". Here lies is usually what is inscribed on a tombstone, and is therefore an allusion to the fact that Kemmerich is dying. This creates an eery feeling in the passage while also adding to the strong poetic flow of the second half of the paragraph. The trope used in this paragraph is a simile. The narrator says that Kemmerich is faint, like a double-exposed photograph. Once again, this strong and poetic imagery lends to the paragraph a powerful imagery. All in all, the narrator has shown great use of diction and syntax.
The speaker, Paul, uses very simple language when depicting the scenario; this makes the entire paragraph very authentic because Paul is not trying to sound sophisticated or smart, he is simply trying to describe what is happening around him. In the beginning of the paragraph, Paul uses short and abrupt sentences. This demonstrates that Paul is in shock because when one is in shock the mind is unable to process much and the ideas developed are very limited and abrupt. Nevertheless, later on in the paragraph Paul uses long sentences that seem more descriptive and poetic. The reason for this is because after Paul let go of his shock he was able to understand the bigger picture and what is really happening as well as describe the situation. There are two similes used in this paragraph in order to depict Kemmerich’s deteriorating health. Firstly, Paul says that Kemmerich’s voice is like ashes. Then Paul explains that his features have become faint like “a photographic plate from which two pictures have been taken”. Paul’s diction also reflects a complete loss of hope. When he uses the words “here lies...” it is evident that Paul feels that there is absolutely no hope for his comrade and he, therefore, teats him as though he were already dead. Paul does not describe his emotions, in fact, he is emotionally very detached. However, his diction, syntax and trope make this passage very emotional and dramatic.
This passage is very powerful and filled with rhetoric strategies. Looking at the diction of this paragraph, one can quickly notice that the wording is very simple and straightforward. The reason for that is because the speaker is supposed to be a teenage boy, and the simple diction represents that. The syntax of the paragraph is also very well thought out. At first, the author wrote short sentences, which shows great emotions, dramatizing the passage and implying that the author is in great shock and very upset. The author did not have to express his emotions with words, but he is showing the reader how he is feeling through his writing. Throughout the passage, the simple syntax changes to a more complex one in the end. This shows that the author is moving from short sentences to longer due horrifying position the author is in and that he is lost. Since the author is moving quickly from one sentence to another, it demonstrates how he can see the end, and understands that his comrade is going to die. His choice of words is also very particular since he says “Here lies our comrade”, which makes it seem as if his comrade is already dead for it is an allusion for a gravestone. This makes the paragraph also more poetic since trope is used to express the ideas of the author. He also uses a simile, saying that his comrade’s feature becomes “uncertain and faint like a photographic plate which two pictures have been taken.” Then he also describes his voice sounding like ashes. These tropes were used to describe his comrade, the most focused person this paragraph is on, and with this fancy way of writing he is trying to show us his emotions and thoughts that go through his mind while he watches his comrade in pain.
The excerpt from All Quiet On the Western Front where Paul describes Kemmerich’s dying situation is filled with many different aspects of rhetoric. At the start of the paragraph, the diction, word choice, is very simple and concrete. There are no confusing or ambiguous words, rather, there are clear, stark words that give the reader an immediate understanding of the situation. It is like a child is speaking. The fact that the diction is childlike sheds light unto a major theme of the novel. These men are still very young, yet a tragic event like this is almost ‘normal’ to them. The syntax is simple as well. The sentences are quite short and abrupt adding a dramatic effect to the reading.They are shocking and almost leave the reader breathless. For example, “the leg is amputated” is a harsh, quick sentence that tells the reader exactly what condition Kemmerich is under. This technique allows the reader to register each detail. However, as Paul continues, he becomes more poetic in his descriptions. For example, “here lies...” is an allusion to grave stones, further suggesting that death is near for Kemmerich. Paul also uses a simile to insinuate death by comparing Kemmerich’s voice sounds to ashes. Death is also personified as “working through from within.” It’s almost like the reader can see death jutting out of Kemmerich’s body. The poetic language and use of trope also evoke a harsh, almost creepy vibe. Because Paul is so accustomed to death by this point in his army service, this tragedy is simply looked at as ‘another one the list,’ which to the reader is very disturbing considering his young age. This is why Paul seems a bit detached, as if he is backing off emotionally. For Paul and his comrades, there is not much do to at this point but to move on. In conclusion, this excerpt is one filled with many mixed techniques that all elicit a dramatic effect and a better understanding of the way life was for soldiers during World War I.
Erich Maria Remarque, author of All Quiet on the Western Front, describes the death scene of the main character’s, Paul, close friend, Kemmerich. Remarque is careful and considerate of diction, syntax, and of the tone of his passage. As a whole, he uses a voice that is neutral and is seemingly that of an unattached observer. Remarque uses short sentences towards the beginning to convey this tone of sadness. These short sentences help the reader understand the narrator’s shock for the incident that has occurred. Furthermore, he uses terminology that is depressing and representative of death to convey a sense of despair. Remarque uses a powerful example of personification when he describes death as something that “is working through from within.” Next, he uses the techniques of similes in two separate instances. One example of a simile the author uses is “even his voice sounds like ash.” This crucial sentence adds to the depressing tone of the paragraph and successfully concludes it. Remarque uses inversion and is considerate of the syntax of his sentences when he mentions, “Under the skin life no longer pulses.” Remarque uses an allusion to make us think of death in the term “lies”: “Here lies our comrade.” It is crucial to note how the author speaks to the reader. He is very direct and successful in ingraining the sad atmosphere into our minds. We, the reader, almost empathize with the Paul and his friend and we can almost sense the pain. The final important concept to note is the shift from the beginning to the end of the paragraph. After the narrator appears utterly shocked in the beginning of the passage, he later on begins to discuss what he is truly thinking. Remarque does a fantastic job of taking us through the thought process of Paul by using certain diction, and also helps us understand the change of mindset Paul has from the beginning to the end of the paragraph.
Erich Maria Remarque, author of All Quiet on the Western Front, describes the death scene of the main character’s, Paul, close friend, Kemmerich. Remarque is careful and considerate of diction, syntax, and of the tone of his passage. As a whole, he uses a voice that is neutral and is seemingly that of an unattached observer. Remarque uses short sentences towards the beginning to convey this tone of sadness. These short sentences help the reader understand the narrator’s shock for the incident that has occurred. Furthermore, he uses terminology that is depressing and representative of death to convey a sense of despair. Remarque uses a powerful example of personification when he describes death as something that “is working through from within.” Next, he uses the techniques of similes in two separate instances. One example of a simile the author uses is “even his voice sounds like ash.” This crucial sentence adds to the depressing tone of the paragraph and successfully concludes it. Remarque uses inversion and is considerate of the syntax of his sentences when he mentions, “Under the skin life no longer pulses.” Remarque uses an allusion to make us think of death in the term “lies”: “Here lies our comrade.” It is crucial to note how the author speaks to the reader. He is very direct and successful in ingraining the sad atmosphere into our minds. We, the reader, almost empathize with the Paul and his friend and we can almost sense the pain. The final important concept to note is the shift from the beginning to the end of the paragraph. After the narrator appears utterly shocked in the beginning of the passage, he later on begins to discuss what he is truly thinking. Remarque does a fantastic job of taking us through the thought process of Paul by using certain diction, and also helps us understand the change of mindset Paul has from the beginning to the end of the paragraph.
The excerpt from All Quiet on the Western Front adjusts from a rather terse word structure to more complex sentences while remaining neutral in context to the writing all in a strategic attempt to get the reader to feel certain ways during the paragraph. To kick off the excerpt, the author does not give us any mysteries to solve or any heavy thinking to do, as the most difficult word to understand in the first three sentences is probably the word “covering”. The author made the first three sentences brief and simple to grasp because he wanted an immediate image to be in our heads with no questions asked, and that is the image of a patient who had just had his leg amputated. After the first couple of sentences, the structure and wording change. Particularly large alterations in the writing at this point are the syntax and diction that allude to dying and death. Describing Kemmerich’s color as wan begins these allusions, and several others follow. The personification of death in the 9th sentence is also another path that the author takes to fill a dark and depressing mood. Phrases like “Here lies our comerade,” also give the reader a feeling of death despite the fact that Kemmerich is not even dead yet. The description the author leaves us with is that his voice sounds like ashes. Ashes are associated with mourning as well as a fire that is no longer burning, which does its fair share of alluding to death as well.
In this gruesome description of Kemmerich’s slow death from All Quiet on the Western Front, Paul transitions from an unattached perspective to an emotional point of view. The first few sentences are very simple and concrete. Completely in shock, Paul gives a very mechanical description of his friend’s death, using the morbid words typically associated with a soldier’s demise: “ghastly,” “wan,” and “death.” The only sense that comes to life in the first ten sentences is that of death, which is personified as a force working through Kemmerich’s insides. It is as if this is the one-millionth soldier Paul has seen perish, and he cannot feel any emotion at such a devastating moment. However, the tempo of the passage, as well as Paul’s tone, changes with the words “Here lies our comrade,” an allusion to the beginning of a eulogy at a funeral. The grief of his friend’s passing finally strikes Paul, and he quickly becomes more contemplative. Not only do the sentences become longer, but they also gain an element of imagery. Now feeling hopeless, Paul remembers the quality time he spent with Kemmerich roasting horseflesh and squatting in shell holes. He offers two similes in order to help himself feel something tangible to relate to his friend’s death: the first of which compares Kemmerich’s features to a double-exposed photograph and the second, his voice to the sound of ashes. Though both sections of the excerpt portray Kemmerich’s dying, the first is solely macabre, while the second contains an element of melancholy.
This excerpt from "All Quiet on the Western Front" starts by exhibiting very short sentences. This expresses the sense of shock in Paul as he witnesses Kemmerich's death. As the paragraph progresses, the writer shifts from a more terse, and simple writing style to a more complex and sophisticated style of writing. The syntax and diction used also express a sense of shock in Paul. The author uses many words that convey a feeling of death and illness. The author personifies death writing, "Death is working through from within," also adding to the aura of death. The use of simile at the end of the excerpt gives a gloomy, sullen feeling to the entirety of the atmosphere. Paul also compares Kemmerich to a photographic plate, which is very blurry and dull colored. In this passage Paul is seen as a neutral, unattached observer at the beginning, and then becomes more engrossed towards the end as he contemplates Kemmerich's death. The speaker alludes to death when he says, "Here lies our comrade, Kemmerich." This causes the reader to be in an ominous mindset as he finishes the paragraph. Although Paul is very emotionally detached throughout the paragraph, the writer's use of syntax, diction, and simile make it very dramatic and meaningful.
This passage really exemplifies good use of rhetoric. Towards the beginning of the passage, Paul’s diction describes the scene in very simple words that the reader can familiarize with, such as ‘amputated’, ‘yellow’ and ‘ghastly’. His syntax in this section is very short and show only what he is seeing while looking at his fallen comrade, Kemmerich. He does not really show any emotional connection, as if he is simply in an observation of someone as they are dying. For the second half of the passage, Paul seems to take on a more contemplative approach while observing Kemmerich. His sentences are longer than before and seem to be a lot more focused on the larger themes of life and death. His diction seems to be deeper here as well. He starts to allude to death and how it is seemingly human. He personifies death by saying how “Death is working through from within.” He sees death as a force that has the ability to take over a man and lead him on past this world. He brings up recent memories with Kemmerich, but does not make the reader feel as if they mean a lot to him. They are seemingly brought just to show how strange it can be that someone can be here one day and gone the next. However, Paul does not seem to show any emotion throughout the whole passage. Paul’s frame of mind is seemingly that of an onlooker, yet, he is able to still contemplate the deeper meaning of Kemmerich’s death without really showing any emotion. He is very much there, but is seemingly detached.
The scene fades in as Paul Baumer stands dumbfounded at the sight of his once lively and strength-filled friend, Kemmerich, now at the lowest point of his life after a leg amputation. His skin is yellow, his features are blurred together like a double-exposed photographic plate, and he looks simply ghastly. At first, Paul cannot believe his eyes. He speaks in short, choppy sentences as he describes the terrible situation of his friend. As he witnesses the pain and sorrow of Kemmerich, he finally comes to terms with the sight that lies before him. He feels the anguish and agony of his friend. However, as the time goes by, he begins to accept the death of his friend as something he must work through and that it is simply part of life. The second part of the paragraph is filled with descriptions which cast a mournful tone over the scene. He uses the phrase “here lies” as it would say on a tombstone to imply that he is witnessing his own comrade on not only a hospital bed but his deathbed. He alludes to death as something that has taken control of Kemmerich and will not stop until it tears him apart from the inside out. He takes a brief pause to remember a scene of old times when he was there in the trenches with he and his friends, which only makes him more sad. Reading between the lines makes Paul's observations that much more moving and intense.
The paragraph begins with short, concise sentences, conveying a sense of detachment. The first word, look, pulls the reader in, forcing one to pay attention and making it seek as if you were actually there. The narrator uses extensive definitions, such as, " He looks ghastly, yellow and wan," again conveying detachment, almost as if it was a doctor reporting an autopsy. As the paragraph progresses the sentences become longer and more personal, as if the fact that Kemmerich is dying has only now dawned on him. Before he was in shock from seeing his friend in such a state. Personification of Death and death terms are used, adding foreboding imagery to the scene. Similes are used to portray Kemmerich in the most descriptive way possible, comparing his voice to ashes and his pallor to a "photographic plate from which two pictures have been taken." Although the paragraph is discussing the death of Kemmerich, there is another subtle message here, the sad fact that this is not the first time these young boys have seen death. "In his face there are already the strained lines that we know so well, we have seen them now hundreds of times," suggests that this was not the first death that they had had to deal with, a common issue during war. Using a combination of diction and syntax, the narrator has successfully created an emotionally powered setting, having cathartic effects on the readers.
This paragraph begins by conveying the trauma of the speaker. The sentences invoke the feeling that the speaker is in disbelief and is even having difficulty speaking through the writer's utilization of short and straight forward syntax. As the paragraph progresses, pathos becomes increasingly dominant through the elongation of the sentences and the strong, emotional diction. A simile that compared Kemmerich's voice with ash. The powerful imagery should cause harsh thoughts of the difficulty one may have trying to get out his last words through his horse voice and in between his painful coughing. To further convey emotion, the author writes as though Paul, the speaker, is literally talking to you from aside Kemmerich's bed. When he says, "here lies," Paul's speech turns more into a eulogy. He uses the words often found on a tombstone. The fact that he is talking as though his companion is already dead, only furthers the hopelessness of the situation.
Dylan Cooper said...
Right from the get-go, the reader can notice the terseness of the intitial sentences. This represents the shock felt by the narrator, Paul, at the passing of his friend Kemmerich. Perhaps the shortness of sentence length shows the shortness of breath Paul was probably feeling at such a tragic and appalling time. The syntax soon develops into longer, more complex sentences. This shift demonstrates Paul's contemplation regarding the horrifying situation at hand. Not only is the syntax instrumental in making the passage more powerful, but the diction also creates the macabre aura about the scene. The personification of the word death suggests that death has appeared so frequently, that it is as if death is a person calling on to hundreds of men for their last reposes. The use of simile also makes the excerpt more moving. The comparison between the voice to ashes shows how deathly the scene is and the horrible effects of war. The allusion mentioned is reminiscent of a eulogy during a burial service: "Here lies our comrade Kemmerich." All in all, the syntax and diction used by Remarque highlight the sudden shock and then thoughts of Paul during the tragic situation.
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